The fifty most loathsome people

The fifty most loathsome people in America

Certainly worth a read. I don't agree with them all, and would substitute a few I consider more loathsome, but overall it's a great pack of mostly loathsome worms.

A few fine examples:

50. Geraldo Rivera
Charges: A mustache only slightly less loathsome than Tom Friedman’s-if only because fewer people take Rivera seriously. Began his career as a seemingly skilled and passionate muckraker, but having been exposed countless times as a shameless, megalomaniacal fraud, he absolutely refuses to get out of our living rooms. Most recently, Geraldo was accused of making a frail, elderly victim of Hurricane Katrina whom he “rescued” do multiple takes of the rescue scene with Rivera for Fox News cameras. Geraldo heroically carried the woman’s dog.

Exhibit A: Claims he defected from CNBC to Fox News for patriotic reasons.

Sentence: Sealed inside Al Capone’s vault with a phalanx of Neo-nazis armed with folding chairs.

49. Michelle Malkin
Charges: A curious case of racial Stockholm syndrome with a palpable lust for violent ideological oppression and displays of imperial power. Rose to prominence in conservative circles by congratulating white America for its most shameful chapter since slavery, and encouraging a return to form in her book, In Defense of Internment: The Case for “Racial Profiling” in World War II and the War on Terror. Malkin thinks it’s hunky-dory to detain an entire demographic indefinitely if it makes the rest of us feel more comfortable. Her newest, Frenzy, argues that liberals have lost their minds, because they are upset with the direction their country is taking. Her evidence is a carefully collected selection of the dumbest things liberals have ever said, as if she couldn’t have just as easily filled an entire library with the insane ravings of right-wingers. Her accusations of blind hatred and vitriol mimic soul sister Ann Coulter’s classic tactic of psychological projection: whatever Malkin is, she sees in her opponents.

Exhibit A: Internment was so irresponsible that it prompted 40 history professors to sign a letter condemning it.

Sentence: Detained indefinitely without charge and waterboarded hourly for looking at a cop “all slanty-like.”

48. Larry the Cable Guy
Charges: The absolute nadir of the American South’s baffling cultural hegemony. A middle-class Nebraskan, raised in Palm Beach, whose parents sent him to private school, masquerading as an Appalachian mutant and making millions off the nine-toed cyclopes in his audience by calling his material “blue collar,” when it’s really just a celebration of proud ignorance. The latest in a long line of “entertainers” propagating the lie that real talent is elitist. The South has risen again—just long enough to grab the rest of the nation by the legs and pull it back down to its Lovecraftian depths. Isn’t even “bad funny.” Makes Jeff Foxworthy look like Chris Rock.

Exhibit A: Ostensibly ‘humorous’ catchphrase translates into “complete the task.”

Sentence: Sent back in time for the sole purpose of having Mark Twain’s cigars extinguished on his face.

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