Tuesday, March 18, 2014

From the Father of A Suicide-What to do, Just Try to Survive When it Seeks to Overpower You

 "Try to be happy while living, for you're a long time dead."
~Old Scottish proverb

From a suicide surviver of a Daughter who suicided on 10-26-13. I wrote this(as is) about a month after daughter Brittany took her life at the age of 20. Trying to leave it as written. If this helps one person stop for just one moment, try to stay, and just survive. It will get better I promise you, especially as you get older. For the people who love you. You have no idea how MUCH they love you. Tell them, ask them what to do. They'd give their lives for yours, give them a chance.

Note to Suffering:
I've been trying to come up with words to say to someone who may be out there, wondering what to do, not knowing where they'll turn or who to talk to. I hope there's no one reading this who may be thinking of suicide. If there is just a few words from a grieving survivor. If there's anyone who loves you, anyone you'll leave behind don't do it. You cannot imagine the horror it will unleash on their lives. The ones you leave behind will not want to go on without you. They will have no choice. Time(and grief) will continue for them minute by minute, day by day. Even Brittany's little dog Isabel, whom she left behind still raises her head at the sound of a car door outside, watches the window and listens for someone who is gone forever. Take it from someone who is old enough and has suffered enough to know that whatever may be bothering you and tormenting you will pass. Unless you're in unrelenting, unending physical pain problems that seem unbearable are temporary. Time brings them and time will carry them away to be replaced by other worries which will pass also. Just give them time, they will pass. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, and you have no idea the grief and horror you'll leave behind for survivors. Take it from someone who had his own demons and sometimes romantic views of death in his youth. It does get better. With all it's problems, worries, sorrows and pain this really is a beautiful old world and it's the only one we have, or will ever have. If nothing else when you get right down to it it's as they say "the little things that count"; The sun on your face, a warm evening breeze, colorful windblown leaves, a child's laugh, a happy dog, falling in love, the little moments that make up life. Brittany loved music, now she'll never hear another new song that she'll want to hear over and over. She loved clothes, there'll be no more shopping trips with friends, no more friends. She loved driving, I told her when she was learning that the best thing about driving was road trips, there'll be no more road trips, no long leisurely drives. She took all that away and thousands of other things when she decided to leave. If in the end all my inadequate words are not enough, get help! Tell someone, get counseling, people will be glad to support you. Believe me, I wish we'd had the chance. Read better writers than me and/or call someone. Hell call me, or someone better with words than me. Survive another day. Always another day, till it does get better. For the people you love and the people who love you. Survive. Please....
~Ronnie, father of Brittany06-10-1993, 10-26-2013


At 7:53 PM, Anonymous Dean said...

Yes I know. Chapters are our friends. As I said I tried to leave it the same...


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